Cathy's Heart

In my last post, I wrote how I have witnessed that a kept secret has the power to keep a person locked in a prison of isolation, guilt, shame, loneliness and fear. But a secret confessed and surrendered into the loving hands of God can set a person free to heal, to grow and to reach out to others. I shared one of my favorite stories of God's amazing power to forgive, heal and restore a young woman's life and turn her dark secret into a life giving ministry. Since then, I have been thinking about another story. The story of a dark secret kept locked inside a woman for more than seventy years. I was entrusted with the confession of this secret years ago while seated on a living room sofa, prepared to interview a precious friend about the lessons she learned over her eighty plus years of life---lessons I planned to pass on to younger women. Pen poised and recorder on, I jotted down her answers to my questions as quickly as I could (pre-laptop). Soon, her answers triggered memories...

Today's post was inspired by two of "my girls" who are on staff with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. This past month they had an outreach on San Diego's college campuses called "No Secrets." The Intervarsity staff and student volunteers invited the students on their campus to share their secrets anonymously, writing them on Post-Its and sticking them on a wall for everyone to see. Hundreds of young people responded. And at the end of the week, students were invited to hear the good news of Jesus' victory over sin and shame, praying for them and sharing the forgiveness and freedom Jesus offers. Many students responded to this invitation. I read dozens of the secrets written by the college students who attend two of our largest campuses. My heart broke for these young adults and the pain they carry in their hearts. It reminded me of times, sitting in a coffee shop or at a restaurant or on a park bench or on a living room sofa, when a woman has said to m...

Craigslist, Auto Trader and Carmax. These are the websites I have been browsing the past week in search of a car for my daughter. Today, after the test drive of a car that ran rough and had bad brakes, I began to worry about finding a reliable car for her. My heart turned to the Lord in prayer. But I realized it was anxious and worried prayer, not trusting and faith-filled. I adjusted my attitude and began to thank God that He knew our need and to trust that He could and would supply it. Then a thought occurred to me: "Remember!" "Remember the times I have provided a car for your family. Remember the ways I have answered your prayers." And I did! I remembered the time I quietly prayed for a car for my oldest son his senior year of college. My in-laws called the very next week, offering to give my son one of their cars. Then, I remembered the quiet prayers I said for my second-born son after the old car he'd been driving gave out the night of his engagement to hi...

Recently, I had to answer my husband's cell phone. When the call ended, I glanced at the picture on his screen saver. It was a picture of me. Suddenly it occurred to me that my husband of twenty-eight years has always had a picture of me first place in his wallet, front and center in his law office and on the desk top of his home office. I began to think of the pictures on my screen saver, on my nightstand, on my refrigerator and in my wallet. The pictures were of our children and more recently of our grandchildren. I knew God was trying to tell me something! I realized my husband and I were in a pattern of going separate ways. Although happily married, I tend to make our grown children, our grandchildren and ministry opportunities my top priority. When my husband invites me to his business functions and social engagements, I find it easier and more comfortable to stay home. I believe in and support his work, his ministries and his activities but I was not a part of them. As I look...

I should be packing because next week we are moving. But I don't feel like packing, I need to write! Writing clears the cobwebs in my head and lifts the burdens from my soul. Lately, the Lord has been revealing areas of my life that need His transforming touch. I thought I'd share one with you. Maybe you can relate. Yesterday was my birthday. We just returned from an emotion packed trip to visit a sick family member, so I was weary. Part of my morning routine is to check facebook. One of my favorite features about facebook is how it alerts you of a friend's birthday. I love to send birthday wishes as well as read the wishes that others sent to my friends. So, I confess, I was looking forward to reading the birthday greetings that had been sent to me. Only when I opened my page, there were none! Even my dad, whose birthday I share, already had birthday messsages posted early that morning. Right away, I had several reactions. The first was disappointment and doubt. "Does...

Have you ever been transported back in time by a certain taste, touch, sound, sight or smell? I have heard that smell is the strongest sense to trigger a memory. Not for me. My most powerful trigger is music. Recently, while listening to the radio on a weekend get-a-way, I found myself instantly transported back to the 70's, to a time I call my in between years. These were the years after I was introduced to Jesus as my Savior but before I surrendered my life to Him, asking Him to be my Lord. During those years, I was not living out my new found Christian faith, in fact I was running hard and fast away from God. As the song continued, I considered changing the radio station. The lyrics were awful and the memories it stirred up were not edifying. But I liked the beat and to be honest, for a little while, I liked the memories. As the song ended, I no longer felt good but pained by the memories it produced. As a new song started, I quietly asked the Lord's forgiveness for listenin...

Last summer, I began this blog with good intentions. My hope was and is to encourage women as they grow in their walk with the Lord. My goal was to publish a post at least once a month. Three posts in one year falls far short of my goal. It would be easy to blame this failed endeavor on several unexpected turn of events. However, this would be an excuse to cover up the real reason why there are three and not twelve posts on my well-intentioned blog. Truth be told, the reason my blog lies dormant is doubt, fear and insecurity. As I composed the beginning of several ideas for posts doubt crept into my thoughts, "who are you to think that you have anything to say?" Fear jumped in next taunting, "you don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said before." And finally insecurity, the loudest voice of all, accuses me, "what if it's not perfect?" To my surprise, today, I received a second request asking to follow my elusive blog. So here is ...