I am a list keeper. A goal setter. A New Year's resolution maker.
But, this year is different. Yes, I made a couple of resolutions and set a few goals. However, this year, because of the revamping God did in my life this past season, I have a far higher priority.
In 2015, the lists I will make, and "the high" I feel when I check off a task, have to go. Well, the list doesn't have to go. And, I can still mark off my accomplishments. It is that "high" I feel, the significance I seek, and the value I find from the approval of others when I am able to tell or show them about all that I have achieved!
Last summer, when my mobility was severely limited by back pain, God began to show me how much I derive my significance and value from what I do, how much I do, as well the approval I crave from those I want to please and impress.
During my slow healing process, the Lord revealed to me three truths which have the power to transform my life. However, in order for that to happen, I must let these truths renew my mind. Only then will they change the way I think, what I believe, and the way I behave.
1) I Am Your Healer
The first truth God revealed to me happened after a long night of fighting muscle spasms. All night I lay awake agonizing about what to do next. Should I see the chiropractor, the acupuncturist, or the physical therapist? The next morning, I carefully walked downstairs, when the thought filled my mind. "I Am your healer."
Suddenly, I was aware I hadn't once prayed and asked the Lord what He wanted me to do. I'm sure I had begged Him to take away my pain and make the spasms stop. Yet, I hadn't asked for wisdom if I should go to a doctor, and, if so, which one. On those stairs, I knew God was reminding me, although I believe He uses doctors and medicine, He alone is my healer.
2) Be Strong and Courageous, I Am With You
Once downstairs, I went to the kitchen, where I decided to look at the personalized scripture cards a friend had given to me. I grabbed a glass of water, and looked on my desk for that day's verse. This is what I read, "Cathy, be strong and courageous. Don't be terrified or discouraged, for I am with you wherever you go."
After ten days of fighting fear that the pain in my back would not get better, and battling discouragement that I wouldn't be able to do the things I loved and longed to do, this was truly God's Word to me! And for the second time that morning, I knew God was speaking to me. I understood that my marching orders were to do what I was able to do each day with strength and courage, because God was with me.
3) You Are My Child
I tried to keep my mind on those two powerful truths, even though nothing really changed. I still battled fear and discouragement. And the next week, before my eyes were even open, I lay awake overcome with a sense of emptiness. I felt like I had no purpose and no real reason to get out of bed that day. I don't even think I prayed, but again a powerful thought filled my mind. "You are My child."
There in the pre-dawn, after 35 years of walking with Jesus, this truth that I believed in, a truth I had taught to hundreds, became real and personal and enough! Immediately, I understood that if I was never able to run and play with my grandchildren, if I was never able to write another blog post, or if I was never able to teach another Bible Study, I was still significant. I was valuable. Not because of what I accomplished. But, simply because I was His child!
I confess, these three truths are still sinking in. My back is healing, but it still slows me down. I still wrestle with fear of the future. I still become discouraged when I can't do all the things I want or need to do, especially as a grammy. However, most mornings when I wake up, and many times when I feel pain, I remember and meditate on God's truth. He is my healer! I will be strong and courageous, because He is always with me! I am His child!
So, my priority for 2015 is to un-learn to seek my significance or find my value from the tasks I check off of my "to do" list. Or, from the new year's resolutions and goals I accomplish. Instead, my priority this year is to renew my mind with the truths God spoke to me last summer, and to transform my life with the truth of where my real significance and value lie.
As I close, my question for you is this, where do you seek your significance? Where do you find your value? My prayer for you, dear reader, is even in this post you will hear God say to you, "You are my child!" And, I pray, you will meditate on and renew your mind with this truth, because indeed this is where your true significance and value are found! Happy, Happy 2015!